There is always a moment in stuck-ness where I decide I don’t want to be so loyal to creating more being stuck. There are many ways to rev the engine, but to even get myself to want to do so is another story.

There are days like today, where I wake up and I’m in my final hours of break from the all encompassing monastic schedule and I feel that there is so much I want to be doing with my work and business and connections and opportunities, exciting, alive things…and I am here at the monastery…doing what exactly?

This can lead to a feeling of overwhelm for me which ultimately leads to procrastinating, lying in bed torn between more rest from an intense week, or working out or writing this post or sitting by the river - knowing I can only choose 1 or 2. I’m getting absorbed in the micro without seeing the big picture.

The moment shifts in a big way when I am able to see what I am resisting in the immediate the most. I’ve been feeling the stressor of making little movement in my business (as expected, I’m in a monastery) and wanting to use my off days to make a little progress, like making this post, while also being able to rest and nourish myself.

It turns out doing what I am resisting is deeply nourishing.

This doesn’t make the resistance go away, but I have seen and experienced time and again that what I am turning away from is exactly the thing to be turned towards and in doing so I am actively becoming disloyal to my stuckness.

At first, it’s a feeling but the feeling is almost always fueled (for me) by a narrative. In the narrative I create distance and stress between what I am actively doing (lying in bed), what I want to be doing in the meta sense and what there is to be done in the current conditions. To move the needle towards the “want to be doing” while actively accepting and seeing how favorable the current conditions are can be invaluable.

When I can see what I am resisting inside of the greater picture while simultaneously being with my creating of tension, I can use intention to relieve it and create momentum.

This is a practice of holding and looking at the micro within the macro at once as if they were in my palm and it’s been so useful for me.

And so here we are, I saw this - I saw my limited time because of a long sleep, I felt the stress, I began to procrastinate, I was absorbed in the micro, I started to see the narrative, I started to feel the resistance, I recalled my intentions, I reflected on what I could do, I decided I don’t want to be carrying this with me. I got up, packed up my stuff, did a very intense and quick 15 workout sat down and wrote this post. I am feeling relief, and ease and spacious for my final hour of break.